


we won't give up til we're broken

by catteo



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, because who really wants canon anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-06
Updated: 2015-06-06
Packaged: 2018-04-03 02:39:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4083532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catteo/pseuds/catteo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Who wants an alternate reality post 2x18? Yeah, me too.</p><p>This was written post 2x18 and any similarities to canon after that are purely coincidental.</p><p>It was going to be heavily edited but then I decided that probably I need to start over. So have this. With my sincere hope that I can write something new soon!</p>
            </blockquote>





	we won't give up til we're broken

There’s a dizzying moment where Skye thinks that she’s waking up from a nightmare, months of fear and heartache vanishing as though they never happened. Ward and Coulson are fighting back to back, fighting for _her_ , battling their way through an army to protect her. But even as she sees the impossible happening before her eyes, she knows that it’s the truth. She can feel their intentions on her skin, the vibrations reflecting their actions spinning through her blood.

 

 

 

Ward’s barely contained rage, almost otherworldly in its intensity, makes her heart race. Coulson’s fear for her is there, something that she can actually fix. Their combined determination pulses in her veins, her body showing her the truth. She knows it’s real. Knows that, somehow, they’re here for her. She doesn’t know what kind of deal Coulson’s made with the devil, but the crashing wave of relief that washes over her is enough to tell her that she’s not going to stand around waiting for explanations. If Ward’s here there must be a reason. It probably has nothing to do with her.

 

 

 

 _Ward’s here_.

 

 

 

Handing his gun to Coulson as though it’s the most natural thing in the world. White noise fills Skye’s mind and she forces her hands into fists to ground herself. She can feel the world around her starting to fray at the edges.

 

 

 

She can sense it. The moment that they catch sight of her. Coulson’s energy, full of relief, a lurching gratitude that she’s okay. She tries to ignore everything that’s coming from Ward but it’s as though he’s ripping her apart from the inside -- hope and sorrow and fear -- and something else that drifts along Skye’s skin, warm and familiar. She blinks, trying to clear the images that flash unbidden to her mind. The before. The _lies_. Images of a naïve girl who didn’t know better. Skye blocks it out. Forces her body not to respond. But her feet are moving anyway, rushing her straight towards everything that she so desperately wants to forget.

 

 

 

She focuses on Coulson. There’s a steadying reassurance radiating off him, it’s somehow familiar and she realizes that it’s somehow the same energy that filled Cal’s office. It’s odd being able to put a name to the vibrations that drift through the air between them. She doesn't notice Ward moving towards her, every molecule of his being straining to reach her.

 

 

 

She doesn’t.

 

 

 

She _can’t_.

 

 

 

But then a barrier rips through the pulses that connect her to the world. Gordon’s gift a confusing mass of seething energy that separates her from the people she used to call family. It’s too much. Too soon. She needs more time. She needs to know why Ward’s there. How he’s earned a place at Coulson’s side. Why the hell Coulson hasn’t thrown him back in the vault.

 

 

 

A single image reaches her as the world flashes into neon white – the face is hers and she recognizes the moment only too well. It’s becoming more like the face she sees in the mirror. Her eyes are dark, full of bitter accusations, and there’s blood, dark crimson, drying on her hands. An icy cold spike of fear slices through her and she feels the impact of four beats of terrifying loss in her bones. The scream she hears is full of rage and sorrow. She doesn't even recognize her own voice.

 

 

 

+

 

 

 

The transition between spaces isn’t usually like this. Doesn’t leave her retching in a corner, fighting to stay on her feet. Jiaying eyes her with concern, but has to turn her attention almost immediately to Cal, screaming his anger at their attempt to abandon him. Skye wonders if it would make any difference if she added her voice to his, levelling bitter recriminations and heated accusations at her parents. She fights back another wave of nausea, steadies herself with one hand on the table beside her, and drags a breath past the heavy ache in her chest. Past the ever escalating number of casualties mounting in the battle to find out who she really is. She thinks maybe it’s poetic that Ward gets to have a front row seat. He’s the reason she’s here after all.

 

 

 

She tries to forget the way it felt when he looked at her, the emotions that pulsed through her blood. Tries to remember all the reasons she should hate him. He’s a liar. A killer. The man who ripped her apart and left her with gaping holes where loyalty and love used to be. The problem is that she feels as though she’s hating herself.

 

 

 

“Are you okay, Skye?” She realizes that Jiaying’s talking, shooting her a look full of concern. Gordon’s looking towards where she and Cal stand but, as ever, Skye just can’t seem to get a read on him. It’s as though his emotions are just out of reach, and all she can feel is the tantalising brush of something she can’t quite understand. She can’t even tell if he’s staring although it seems as though he must be, his head turned to face her, the smooth skin of his face giving nothing away. Not for the first time Skye finds herself thinking about how much she wishes that she could learn that skill.

 

 

 

“Getting there. Bit of a bumpy ride there, Gordo.” The words are out of her mouth before she has a chance to take them back. She sees both Gordon and Jiaying stiffen, hears Cal’s delighted laugh behind her. She bites back a small smile of her own.

 

 

 

“That’s my Daisy.” He sounds proud of her and Skye experiences a pang of homesickness for her old life -- Coulson’s hand on her shoulder, May’s hands adjusting her grip on a pistol, Fitz and Simmons bringing her tea and cake.

 

 

 

 _I am trying to protect you_.

 

 

 

Skye fights back another wave of nausea. It’s as though her past is trying to break through all her carefully erected shields. She barely manages to shrug an insincere apology at Gordon. She can see Jiaying place a hand on Gordon’s arm, a reassuring touch that makes Skye long for something she can’t quite put a name to.

 

 

 

“You shouldn’t have pulled me out. I was safe.” Skye remembers dark eyes locked with hers, fire beneath her skin, blood on her hands. “Coulson was there.” She leaves the rest unspoken.

 

 

 

“ _We’re_ your family, Skye. We can keep you safe.” Jiaying's voice is calm, the certainty of the truth of her words ringing in the air between them.

 

 

 

“You’re my parents. There’s a difference.” Skye doesn’t in neutral tones, not intending to wound, but even so she can see Jiaying flinch slightly as the words hit home. “I have obligations too. There are people relying on me. People that I need to protect.”

 

 

 

“And what about us?” Cal’s voice is low, laced with danger. Skye can hear the monster that hovers just below the surface. She hasn’t thought about that side of Cal in days, allowing herself to see only the man who lost himself looking for his family, the man who’d do anything for her.

 

 

 

“You didn’t bring Lincoln back. Why not?” Skye decides that ignoring Cal is probably the safest course of action at this point, aims her question in Gordon’s direction.

 

 

 

“You were the priority.” Jiaying is the one to answer, and Skye can’t quite help the unease that she feels at the thought of acceptable losses. At the unspoken implication that she’s somehow worth more because the same blood runs in their veins. “He can take care of himself.”

 

 

 

“He shouldn’t _have_ to. You’re the one that sent him after us. As though you didn’t trust me not to come back.” It’s not until Skye’s talking that she realizes the truth of it. That virtually every part of her wanted to go with Coulson and the safety of the only home she’s ever really known. Her chest aches uncomfortably as she remembers who he was with. Who else used to make her feel safe. “Do you at least know where he is?” Skye doesn’t miss the look that Jiaying gives Gordon.

 

 

 

“SHIELD have him. Or Hydra. Whatever they’re calling themselves now.” Cal’s the one to answer. He sounds exhausted suddenly. As though he no longer has the energy to fight. “And we all know how that ends.” Cal stares at Jiaying and Skye feels the devastating ache of loss in her bones, radiating across the room. She closes her eyes, fighting the harsh burn or sorrow at the back of her throat.

 

 

 

“You need to let me go. There are people who can fix this. _My_ people.” Skye has no idea how she’s going to get out of Afterlife if Jiaying puts her foot down, but she’ll find a way somehow. This isn’t who she wants to be.

 

 

 

“You mean SHEILD?” Jiaying raises her eyebrows as Skye nods. “They’re not your people, Skye. Not any more.”

 

 

 

“You’re wrong. They came for me.” There are some things that Skye will never doubt, and that’s the fact that her team will always come for her. Even if they’re not the same team that they used to be. Skye clamps down on the voice in her head trying desperately to tell her that the Coulson and Ward fighting back to back looked a lot like the old days.

 

 

 

“So did we.” Gordon’s tone is neutral, and somehow that just irritates Skye more. That he feels as though he has any say in this. This time she didn’t ask him to come for her.

 

 

 

“But they’re the ones I called. You just showed up.” Skye knows that she sounds petulant, ungrateful, but she can’t help it. She’s still so furious that they didn’t let her talk to Coulson. “Jiaying, please…” She turns to the one person that she believes has the power to make this happen.

 

 

 

“It’s dangerous, Skye.” Jiaying’s so calm that Skye wants to scream.

 

 

 

“I know it’s dangerous.” Skye can hear the frustration bleeding into her voice. Feel her powers straining to be released. “But I’m not going to let Lincoln die because of me. I already lost a friend that way and I’m not letting it happen again.” This time the glass of water sitting on Jiaying’s desk starts to vibrate, a single drop of liquid sliding over the rim of the glass and betraying how close she is to losing control.

 

 

 

“Skye…” There’s a note of warning in Jaiying’s voice, but Skye chooses to ignore it. “We can’t afford to show ourselves. There are people who want to take what makes us unique and…”

 

 

 

“I know.” Skye interrupts Jiaying. She doesn’t need to hear all the reasons why Hydra is a terrible organization. She’s seen it first hand after all. “They’re the ones who have him. I’ll go in with SHIELD. Hydra won’t know what I am.” It’s a last desperate attempt to make this happen without having to resort to other means.

 

 

 

“It’s a risk.” This time it’s Gordon’s that speaks, and Skye can’t help but notice that it sounds as though he’s reconciled to the fact that she’s going.

 

 

 

“And so is doing nothing.” Skye pushes her advantage. “Are you really prepared to let someone else suffer what Whitehall did to you, Jiaying?” She sees Jiaying lift her hand, almost involuntarily, to one of the scars that mars the skin of her face. In that moment Skye knows she’s won. That Jiaying will let her go.

 

 

 

“You’ll have to return with Lincoln.” Jiaying stands as she says it.

 

 

 

“Fine.” Skye fights back the urge to scream that she’s her own person and that she can’t be forced to do something she doesn’t want to. But the knowledge that she’ll be seeing her friends is enough to keep her from opening her mouth.

 

 

 

“Promise me, Skye. Promise that you’ll come back.” Jiaying circles the desk, takes Skye’s hands in her own. Skye still can’t quite believe that her mother is holding her hands. “There’s so much that you still need to know.”

 

 

 

“And if I don’t agree?” Skye feels Jiaying’s hands tighten on hers.

 

 

 

“Then you don’t leave.” At Jiaying’s words, Skye hears a huff of bitter disbelief from Cal. She tries her best to ignore it, but a cold finger of unease drifts up her spine at the thought of just how little she really understands of what’s going on here, below the surface. Skye knows that she has to do whatever it takes to get back home though.

 

 

 

“Well then I guess you’re not really giving me much of a choice, are you? I promise I’ll come back.” Skye forces a smile onto her face, but she’s sure that it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “So, Gordo, take me to SHIELD.” She just can’t resist one last dig. She thinks that she even sees a slight smile on Jiaying’s face before she flashes out of view.

 

 

 

+

 

 

 

Skye opens her eyes to find Jemma staring at her, surprise and relief warring on her face. Skye meets Jemma halfway, throwing her arms around her friend, before realizing that she can feel the energy of a half-dozen other people skating up her spine.

 

 

 

“It’s good to have you home.” Jemma whispers it into her ear before releasing Skye with a tight smile, as though she’s battling to hide what she’s really thinking. Skye already knows what she’s going to find before she turns around.

 

 

 

Arms enfold her, familiar and welcoming, voices telling her how much they missed her. How glad they are that she’s safe. But she can feel him, a low hum that she can’t ignore, skating up her spine and hammering at her defences. She can’t even bring herself to look in his direction. Coulson’s the last to approach her, sliding into the space in front of her even as May steps aside.

 

 

 

“Don’t tell me that you missed me enough that I’m going to get a hug from the director himself?” Skye forces a grin to her face, keeps her voice light, even though she feels as though wave after wave of emotion is hammering at her skin, begging to be let in.

 

 

 

“Yeah, about that…” Coulson’s face is grim and Skye can feel the worry lacing his joy at her reappearance. “Turns out I’m not the only one using that particular title. So I guess we can pretend for the moment that I’m not the boss.” His hug is, if anything, even tighter than May’s. Skye allows herself to forget, for a moment, that none of this is permanent.

 

 

 

“Are we going to finish this briefing?” The voice is familiar and Skye’s looking over towards the direction of the voice before she remembers that there’s someone else there that she’s trying not to acknowledge. Ward’s eyes lock with hers and Skye almost forgets how to breathe. It’s not supposed to be like this. He’s not supposed to make her feel like this, as though they’re the only people in the room and nothing has changed. She feels Coulson loosen his grip on her shoulders, squeeze her shoulder gently as he steps away from her. Skye swallows, hard, and forces herself to look at the woman standing next to Ward. “Somebody should probably check her for weapons.” Agent 33 smiles at Skye as she says it, but there’s no sincerity in her expression. Skye can’t help but notice the way that the woman steps closer to Ward as she says it. Part of Skye finds it hilarious that anyone would think that Ward needs protecting. She tries to forget that there was a time when she’d have been the person standing in front of him.

 

 

 

“I’m not going to shoot him.” Skye doesn’t think that now is the moment to share with anyone that she doesn’t need to. If she wanted Ward to be gone she could make it happen in a heartbeat. She _should_ make it happen. “Why are they here?” She directs this at Coulson. Hopes that she’s going to get an answer that will somehow make sense of all of this.

 

 

 

“Kara and Ward are helping us infiltrate Hydra.” Coulson’s statement is matter of fact, but Skye’s sure that it can’t be that easy. She sends an enquiring look his way, but Coulson either doesn’t see or pretends not to. “They’ve taken Mike and some kid who was trying to protect you.”

 

 

 

“Mike’s back?” Skye can’t quite believe what’s going on. She feels as though she’s fallen into some sort of alternate reality and she’s having trouble working out what she’s missed.

 

 

 

“Yeah. He looked pretty good actually.” This last from Fitz who, Skye suddenly realizes, is sitting at the counter carefully field stripping a gun. If it weren’t for the familiar patterns coming from her team she’d think that she was dreaming. “Been getting upgrades from..”

 

 

 

“Fitz.” Coulson’s voice holds a note of warning, and Skye’s sure that everyone sees the way that his eyes flick towards Ward, still standing silently in the corner.

 

 

 

“Right.” Fitz bites back the word and Skye’s stomach twists into knots. It would be enough for her to just hear the anger in Fitz’s tone, but she can feel it radiating off him. Wave after wave of brutal vibration, impossible to ignore. The problem is that it feels as though it’s aimed at Coulson, rather than the tall figure in the corner, adjusting his Kevlar vest. Skye’s clearly missing half of the story, but she’s not even sure if she wants to know what it is. She’s probably wrong. Superpowers on the fritz or something. The thought makes her feel better.

 

 

 

“It’s good that you’re back. We can use the extra help.” Coulson’s hand settles on Skye’s shoulder. “Gonzales is only letting me take my own team into the field. I think he’s hoping that we’ll screw up and save him the trouble of getting rid of me.” The sound of a round being chambered rings loud in the room. Five sets of eyes turn towards Ward. He’s not even looking at them, instead accepting a second gun from Kara. Skye catches the look that passes between them. The hand that lingers a little longer on Ward’s forearm than strictly necessary. She drags her gaze back to Coulson, trying to ignore the incessant hum that’s suddenly begging her to destroy something. It’s a natural reaction to seeing Ward back here, acting as though he’s not the cause of every faultline she can feel in the room.

 

 

 

“Wheels up in five.” May gives Ward a hard look as she and Coulson walk out of the room, and Skye doesn’t think she’s imagining the twitch of May’s fingers towards the gun holstered at her side. There’s a distance between the two of them that Skye’s sure wasn’t there before and she’s practically burning up with curiosity, sure that she’s missing vital pieces of the story.

 

 

 

“We’ll tell you later.” Jemma’s voice comes from just beside her and Skye becomes aware of Fitz standing on her other side. The two of them totally in sync for the first time in as long as Skye can remember and it’s utterly disconcerting. That the man responsible for ripping them apart might also be the thing that’s somehow bringing them back together. Skye tries to find the humor in it, but she just feels as though she’s being ripped apart. Everything’s so familiar and yet sickeningly out of place. “Fitz, we’ve got to finish…”

 

 

 

“Packing. Right, yes. Coming.” Fitz and Simmons turn as one and follow in May and Coulson’s footsteps, the low murmur of their voices reaching Skye as they walk down the corridor. She can’t make out the words but the frequency is familiar. An echo of a life that she’s rapidly realizing may not be completely out of reach.

 

 

 

“You planning on suiting up or are you just going to stand there?” Kara’s staring at Skye with barely disguised hostility, and Skye suddenly recalls the last time that they spoke. The moment where she thought that she was getting through to the other woman before she ended up bruised and bleeding on the floor. Remembers the last time she saw Kara, pointing a gun at Ward, conversations about loyalty and insanity getting jumbled up in her memory. “I should be coming with you. I don’t trust Coulson not to leave you behind.” This last is said to Ward, Kara’s hand back on his arm, concern written all over her face.

 

 

 

 _Her face_.

 

 

Skye realizes that Kara’s not wearing May’s face any more -- her skin unblemished and her voice her own. White noise roars in Skye’s ears and she forces air past the pressure in her chest, threatening to overwhelm her. She can feel herself starting to lose control, faint vibrations stirring the hair at the back of her neck, curls her hands into tight fists, the bite of her own nails on her palms forcing her to focus. Skye tells herself that she doesn’t trust Ward, doesn’t care who he’s pretending to be now, that he’s nothing more than a liar. That he can’t possibly be the reason that Kara’s standing there whole when SHIELD gave up on her.

 

 

 

“I’ll be okay.” Ward’s staring at Skye as he says it, but Kara’s the one pushing up onto her toes and pressing her lips against Ward’s cheek as he turns his head slightly at the last minute. Skye can’t seem to stop looking at the scene unfolding before her, all the answers she needs in the considering look Kara gives Ward as he slides a second gun into the holster at his hip. Skye feels as though her skin’s about to split apart, leaving her bleeding in pieces on the floor. She suddenly wishes that she were a million miles away, back at Afterlife, oblivious to everything unfolding in front of her. Skye finally manages to tear her eyes away from Ward’s, from everything that she doesn’t want to acknowledge, and stumbles from the room alone. Maybe she doesn’t have a place here after all.

 

 

 

+++

 

 

 

He tells himself that Skye doesn’t mean anything to him anymore. There are moments when Ward wonders if he should worry that it’s turning into a mantra.

 

 

_Skye doesn’t care about you_

_Skye shot you_

_Skye wants you gone_

 

 

 

He’s decided that it’s better than the alternative though. That voice, all too familiar, telling him that feelings are a weakness. Ward can’t quite work out when he started believing that, no matter how hard he tries. He knows exactly when he stopped, sitting on a couch in a quiet room with Skye’s reassurances echoing in his ears. He can feel Kara’s eyes on him, silently assessing the situation, can sense the unspoken question in the room.

 

 

 

“It’s not important.” Ward reaches for his pack, standard SHIELD issue, the same kit he’s been wearing for half his life. He tries not to think about how reassuring it is; the familiar weight of the Kevlar on his shoulders, the worn handles of his bag. “I go with them, help them rescue Mike and whoever that other guy is, collect Bakshi and the serum, and we’re done.”

 

 

 

“Assuming that Bakshi’s managed to get what we need.” Kara still looks worried, that same expression that he’s been seeing for months now. As though she’s simply waiting for the other shoe to drop.

 

 

 

“He’ll have it. Remember that Cal said there are other survivors now. That the last version of the serum actually worked.” He can’t let Kara stop them now, not when he’s managed to get them so close to the solution that they both need.

 

 

 

“Aren’t you worried about what might happen?” Kara’s looking at him with that same familiar concern in her eyes. He tries his hardest not to think about a different pair of eyes that used to look at him like this. Tries not to let himself believe that Kara’s the only person here who’s out of place. Tries not to let himself fall back into a persona that felt like home for months.

 

 

 

“We’ve discussed this, Kara. That’s why I’m going to take it first.” Even as he says it Ward wonders if there’s ever going to be a time when he feels safe telling the truth again. He slings his pack across his shoulder and tries to ignore the pull of the fresh scars on his chest.

 

 

 

“I still think it should be me. I’m the reason we’re looking for the formula.” Kara’s looks worried, her hand on his arm the only thing stopping him from rushing after the team. He needs to focus on the mission though. The mission is what’s important.

 

 

 

“No, Kara. If either of us is turning into a monster, it’s better that it should be me.” Sometimes he wonders if Raina ever thinks about the seed she planted all those months ago. If Skye ever thinks about the fact that he promised never to lie to her again. He can feel it starting, the need to slip into the space beside her, behind her, guarding her back. Even though he has first hand knowledge that she can take care of herself now. Kara doesn’t look convinced by his words and he knows he has to tread carefully. “Kara, you’ve seen the way these people look at me. I’m most of the way there already.” He hopes that she’ll forget about him once she’s fully healed. Once he’s answered the question of who he really is. What he’ll become.

 

 

 

“They don’t know you.” Kara’s voice is firm, sincerity radiating from her. He clamps down on the guilt that tells him she deserves better than his lies, even if he’s only telling them so that she can be better.

 

 

 

“Yes. They do.” Ward thinks that if there’s anyone in the world who truly knows who he is and what he’s capable of it’s the people in this building.

 

 

 

“Not like I do.” Kara clearly believes that this version of him is better. There are days when Ward allows himself to believe it. To believe that he could be this man without a past that he needs to rectify.

 

 

 

“Well I can’t argue with that.” Ward’s beginning to get tired of it. The challenge of keeping all his separate identities straight no longer giving him the rush it once did. He supposes that once you’ve decided who you want to be it becomes harder and harder to pretend. He wonders what Skye thought, seeing him standing here amongst the debris of the world he helped to destroy. Whether she can see the future that he’s trying to build. He closes his eyes for a moment, remembering the way that she stared at him with Kara. He used to know every thought that crossed Skye’s mind, but she’s somehow learned to hide her emotions, to close down. There’s an uncomfortable ache in his chest at the though. That he’s one of the reasons she’ll never be the same again. That neither of them will.

 

 

 

“Be careful.” Kara’s voice breaks the silence between them. Ward gives her what he hopes is a reassuring smile as he leaves the room. He doesn’t look back.

 

 

 

+

 

 

 

“…ing that this is a bloody awful thing to do. Even to Ward.” Fitz’s voice reaches Ward as he steps out into the hangar. He tries to ignore the hope that swells in his chest at the thought that perhaps there’s one person who he can think of as an ally. “We should just drop him out of the jet on the way home.”

 

 

 

“Without a parachute.” Jemma’s voice is nothing like Ward remembers from before. All he hears is that same fierce determination that informed him she’d kill him when she saw him next. He’s actually surprised that she hasn’t tried anything yet.

 

 

 

“Nice to see that you two haven’t changed a bit. I mean, a little more blood thirsty, but still the same old Fitzsimmons.” Ward swings himself around the corner and up into the cargo hold. He forces a smirk onto his face, knowing that the last thing either of them wants to see is the old Grant Ward. He’s trying his best not to think about the last time that the three of them were on the same plane. This is simply a means to an end. He needs the team to get him to the Hydra base and Bakshi and then he’ll get them home and do what needs to be done. One man can’t hope to fix everything that he’s broken, but one man with Cal’s power and single-minded focus should get it done.

 

 

 

 _Pieces solving a puzzle_.

 

 

 

He doesn’t have anyone else to ask for help.

 

 

 

“Just shows what you know.” Fitz fires it back at him in an instant, the hurt and betrayal still so clear on his face. Ward’s beginning to fear that there’s nothing he can do to fix this.

 

 

 

“Fitz, don’t.” Skye’s voice comes from right behind him, and Ward can’t quite stop himself from turning to look at her. He knows that it’s a terrible idea. That all he’s doing is feeding a fire that’s already raging out of control, no matter how hard he tries to put it out. She doesn’t even look at him and Ward can’t seem to work out if he’s relieved or disappointed. “He’s just here for the mission.” Skye pushes past him, and Ward feels a low hum of energy race through his blood, begging him to follow. He doesn’t bother to fight it, just follows Skye and takes the seat next to her without thinking. “Don’t forget that’s all he cares about.”

 

 

 

“Skye, you know that’s not true.” He’s not sure why he’s wasting his breath. He’s tried to tell her a million times but it’s as though the words just aren’t getting through. “Skye…” She actually looks at him this time, and it’s as though the rest of the world just falls away. There’s a challenge in her eyes and his next words die on his lips. He knows that they’re wholly inadequate anyway. That Skye won’t believe anything he says to her, no matter if the truth of the words pulses through him with every racing heartbeat. The ground seems to shift beneath him, the same familiar way that Skye always has of making him feel like he’s falling, and for the first time he sees a sliver of doubt in her gaze.

 

 

 

“Everything okay in here?” Coulson’s voice rings through the air and Skye’s not looking at Ward any more. He feels the absence like a freshly opened wound, raw and stinging. For a second he doubts the wisdom of what he’s embarking upon. He can tell that there’s something different about Skye, and Raina told him enough that he can put the pieces together. Part of him yearns to tell Skye that all he really wanted was to get her out, to keep her from becoming the monster that Raina spoke about. It wouldn’t be a lie, just not wholly the truth. The rest of him desperately wants to know if now, after everything, maybe she’ll understand.

 

 

 

“Fine.” Fitz and Simmons say it simultaneously. Skye just stares at Coulson as though she’s struggling not to go off on a tirade. Ward’s not sure if he’s impressed or disappointed by the change.

 

 

 

“Everything’s fantastic.” He waits until he’s sure that Skye’s looking at him again. “Boss.” This time Ward knows that he’s not imagining the way that the jet shifts slightly, his pack sliding slowly across the floor to settle at Skye’s feet. Ward can practically hear Fitz, Simmons and Coulson stop breathing. He lifts his eyes to Skye’s and grins. “Neat trick.”

 

 

 

“Shut up.” Skye’s voice is loud in the silence, and he can hear the uncertainty ringing through the cargo hold. Fitz and Simmons are looking at him as though he’s grown another head. Coulson’s expression is calculating. Ward’s sure that he’s running all the angles, trying to work out how much Ward knows. Ward doesn’t really care, the only thing that’s really important to him is that they get him to Hydra. Then they can all be rid of each other once and for all.

 

 

 

“It explains a lot, honestly. I did wonder why you were hanging out with people who can teleport.” It’s hardly the only thing that he’s been wondering. He’s worked with these people for long enough to know that there are layers upon layers of things that aren’t being spoken. He thinks it’s somewhat ironic, the fact that he’s the one being judged for not telling the whole truth.

 

 

 

“That’s enough, Ward. Stop talking.” Coulson does his best to sound calm, but Ward knows that he wouldn’t even be here if Coulson wasn’t desperate.

 

 

 

“Happy to comply.” Ward pulls his features into the most insincere grin he can manage. He can see Fitz and Simmons look at each other, worry written loud in their expressions before they look at Coulson. Coulson, for his part, barely reacts. Ward wonders what he’s telling himself about the Tahiti project. If he honestly believes it’s any different than the brainwashing that Hydra’s so fond of. Ward can’t resist flicking his eyes to his left, to where Skye sits, silent and composed. He can see the slight crease between her eyes, the faint confusion that clouds her features. She clearly doesn’t know the full story and, even as he tries to fight it, he feels hope shooting through his veins.

 

 

 

“Everyone buckle up.” May’s voice crackles over the comms. Ward watches as Coulson straps himself into the seat opposite, giving Ward a hard look as he sits. None of them speak as the engines roar to life and May guides the jet out of the hangar.

 

 

 

“Once we get Mike and Lincoln back what’s the plan?” Skye’s the one to break the silence that’s about five minutes past the point of uncomfortable for everyone else. Ward’s not particularly bothered, content to just sit and watch the rest of the team try and hide everything they’re thinking. He doesn’t need powers to know that none of them really wants him to be there. Except Coulson. Which is something that Ward hadn’t really anticipated.

 

 

 

“Who’s Lincoln?” Jemma saves Ward from having to ask the question that’s on the tip of his tongue.

 

 

 

“My friend.” Skye’s answer is anything but helpful. Ward tries not to look at her, feigns utter disinterest and, instead, looks at Fitz, carefully assembling what looks like a bomb. Ward’s not altogether sure how much the rules have changed, but this suddenly doesn’t look a whole hell of a lot like the team he left behind. He’s not really sure how he feels about that.

 

 

 

“He’s the other person that Hydra took, Simmons. The one that was with Mike.” There’s an almost imperceptible tremor of his fingers as Fitz slides another component into the device in front of him. Ward’s suddenly assaulted with memories from the vault, Skye yelling accusations and Fitz glaring at him with fear and rage, a terrible need for vengeance clearly evident on his face. Ward tries not to think about it, tries to focus instead on the fact that, soon enough, he’ll be untouchable.

 

 

 

“You mean the one that Mike took down?” Ward’s just asking for clarification, but he can’t honestly say that he’s disappointed when Skye turns her head towards him. He doesn’t even need to look at her, can feel the intensity of her stare like a brand on his skin.

 

 

 

“Well Mike stopped your heart, so I hardly think you’re one to talk.” Skye’s tone drips polite insincerity and Ward just can’t help himself.

 

 

 

“Yeah. But you made him start it again.” He grins at her, part of him desperate to forget the proof of her feelings, etched forever on his skin. Sometimes he wonders if she looks at her own scars and wonders how the hell any of them ended up here.

 

 

 

“We all have our weaknesses.” Skye’s smile is brittle and Ward can feel every hair on his body rise as a faint tremor races across his skin. He’s not sure that it should feel just like every other time she touched him.

 

 

“Don’t forget she shot you.”

 

 

 

“Thanks Simmons.” Ward’s reminded of her promise as he gives her the glib response, as he hears the ice in her voice. Reminds himself that Simmons can clearly take care of herself now.

 

 

 

“Any time.” Simmons doesn’t even crack a smile and Ward tries not to think about the implications of that.

 

 

+++

 

 

 

Skye’s totally unaffected by Ward’s presence. She keeps telling herself that, hoping that if she repeats the words often enough then somehow they’ll turn out to be true. She reminds herself that she managed to shoot him the last time she saw him, but then she remembers his face when he saw her. The way her heart seemed to stop at the sight of him and Coulson fighting back to back. The way that her own body tried to betray everything that her brain knows to be true. Ward doesn’t care about any of them. Not really. He’s only here because he wants something. Skye just wishes she knew what it was. She spends the three hours of the flight pretending to sleep, but she’s fairly certain that she’s not fooling anyone. Especially not Ward, who’s still staring at her with an indecipherable expression on his face when they land.

 

 

 

“Wow, it’s cold out there.” Fitz actually sounds excited. Skye thinks that it’s her idea of a nightmare. Just the six of them, alone in the wilderness, relying on Ward’s promise that he won’t turn them over to Hydra at the first available opportunity. She wishes that she’d had the chance to ask Coulson exactly what Ward’s incentive is for not double crossing them and leaving them here to rot.

 

 

 

“Yeah, remember what happened the last time we all ended up at a base in the middle of a frozen tundra?” Jemma’s the one to address Fitz. Skye’s struggling to keep her powers under control as memories of Providence base hammer at her. All her words to Ward rushing into her brain with mocking ease. She can feel him staring, but she’s not going to give him the satisfaction of a response.

 

 

 

“I get it, you’re not happy I’m here.” Ward doesn’t sound particularly upset at the turn of events that’s brought them all here. Working together for the first time since she became a SHIELD agent. Skye tries not to think about the horrible irony in the fact that the last time they were all in the same room she’d just earned her place in a team that Ward was about to destroy. “But I’m on your side.” He sounds so sincere, just like every other time he lied. “Skye, you believe I’m telling you the truth, don’t you?”

 

 

 

“Shut up, Ward.” Skye can’t quite bring herself to say no.

 

 

 

+

 

 

 

Skye’s not really sure what Ward’s trying to prove. It’s as though he thinks that she still needs him to protect her. As though she’s not utterly capable of looking after herself. Every room they enter he tries to go through the door first. Every time shots are fired he’s trying to cover her. It’s exactly what she expected and it makes her want to scream her anger at the hand life has dealt her. She’s not this person any more. Not the girl who needs to be protected. None of this is what she wants. But she couldn’t very well send Ward off with Fitz and Simmons. She’s got no idea which of them would try to kill him first. And, much as Skye doesn’t want to have to face it, she doesn’t honestly want him dead. If she’d wanted that she could have killed him in Puerto Rico. She doesn’t know what she does want, and she hardly thinks that this is the time to worry about it. They need to get Mike and Lincoln and just get the hell out of here.

 

 

 

“Next door on the left.” Coulson’s voice rings through the comms as he directs them further into the complex. The whole place is heaving with Hydra agents and, as it turns out, the extra firepower that Ward provides is very much needed. She barrels through the door, Ward hot on her heels, before she realizes what this is. She can’t blame Coulson. It’s not like he ever knew what happened just before Ward took out twelve Hydra agents so that they could save Simmons.

 

 

 

“Just like old times.” Ward’s voice fills the silence, his breath hot on her neck. Skye wonders if she’s going to pass out, all the reasons why she shouldn’t trust Ward battling with all the reasons that she should.

 

 

 

“You’re right. You still make me feel as though I’m going to throw up.” It’s the first thing that comes to mind, and Skye doesn’t quite manage to swallow it back.

 

 

 

“At least you’re feeling something.” Ward’s voice is almost drowned out by Coulson’s next set of instructions and Skye gratefully wrenches the door open and starts off down the corridor. Ward doesn’t try to push past her, doesn’t present her with his back, and Skye feels a grim sense of satisfaction that she’s done one thing right. She doesn’t think about the fact that she’s presenting him with hers. Or that he hasn’t taken a shot.

 

 

 

“I think we found them.” Jemma’s voice comes over the comms. “Skye, we’re going to need you.” Skye’s racing down corridors with Ward right behind her, providing covering fire. They emerge in a room that’s clearly some sort of laboratory, with something that Skye can really only describe as cages lining one wall. Jemma’s pulling vials off shelves as Fitz stands at a computer, clearly getting whatever data he can.

 

 

 

“The doors are made out of some sort of reinforced polymer. We’ve tried everything we can think of, but it hasn’t made a scratch.” Jemma sounds calm, but Skye knows that it’s just a cover. That Jemma’s as anxious as the rest of them. She can feel it. Ward is the only one who isn’t sending jagged vibrations along her spine, his breathing even as he systematically checks all the exits. Part of Skye wonders if it’s just that she’s already getting used to the way he always makes her feel. She brushes the thought aside as useless and concentrates instead on the two people slumped in the cages opposite.

 

 

 

“Well, I guess it’s a good thing I’ve been practicing, huh?” Skye doesn’t think twice. Doesn’t even notice as Ward takes up a position at her back, assuming a defensive stance, covering all the options. Skye concentrates and, as the world around her explodes into waves of energy, she wonders how she ever found this difficult. She can feel everything, everyone, Jemma and Fitz so similar and yet ever so slightly out of sync, Lincoln’s energy that feels so like hers, just at a different frequency. She can feel two signals coming from Mike, half man and half metal, each at war with the other. Skye wonders if that’s how he feels every day, as though he has to fight to keep the person from becoming the machine. She can’t find Ward at first and she thinks it would explain everything, if he was just some sort of wild group hallucination. They could laugh about it and move on. She’s just not that lucky.

 

 

 

She finds him eventually. And then she can’t escape it. Every rise and fall that she feels is in perfect sync with her own, just at a slightly different pitch. It’s not as though he can fake this.

 

 

 

 _Some things are meant to be_.

 

 

 

She wants to scream.

 

 

 

She doesn’t, though, just turns all her rage and frustration and bitter disappointment towards the doors that contain Mike and Lincoln, forces herself into the peaks and troughs and creates spikes that shouldn’t be there. It doesn’t even hurt, her blood practically singing as she releases her power. She does enough that fractures start to lace the doors before they explode open. She’s moving, running to check on Mike and Lincoln before the others have even recovered from the shock waves.

 

 

 

Mike recovers first, heads over to Fitz and confers with him about the data on the computers. Skye’s not really paying attention, grabbing Lincoln by the arm and trying to pull him out into the room. A hand reaches past her and adds the extra traction that she needs. She hears herself thanking Ward before she has a chance to take it back. She tries to ignore the smile that drifts across his face at her words. There’s a knife twisting in her gut and she just wants him to be gone. It’s so like the old days that she wants to believe nothing’s changed. But the proof that they can never be what they were is dancing in her veins, every cell in her body irrevocably altered, and Ward’s part of the reason why.

 

 

 

“We’re going to get this back to the jet.” Fitz and Mike are already halfway out of the room, and Skye simply nods as Jemma drops to the floor next to Lincoln. Ward leaves her side for the first time in hours, stops Mike before he has a chance to leave. There’s a muttered conversation and she sees Ward’s shoulders drop. She can’t be bothered to try and work out what it means.

 

 

 

“Is he okay?” Skye can’t help the thread of fear that she hears in her own voice. She doesn’t have enough friends that she can afford to lose any now.

 

 

 

“Seems to be. I think maybe he’s just…” Jemma’s saved from completing her sentence by Lincoln groaning and opening his eyes. “Well, there you are then.” She goes back to the bench and starts placing the remainder of her collection of samples into her bag.

 

 

 

“What happened?” Lincoln pushes himself up to sitting, Skye dropping to one knee beside him as he does.

 

 

 

“Hydra took you. We’re here to rescue you.” Skye gives him what she hopes is a reassuring smile, rapidly calculating the number of enemy agents still in the base from the different vibrations that reach her. Some of them are getting far too close for comfort.

 

 

 

“Can you stand or am I going to have to carry you?” Ward’s sudden reappearance at her side isn’t exactly unwelcome, but his tone leaves absolutely no doubt as to what his feelings are about Skye. She’d laugh if they weren’t all in danger of imminent death. That Ward thinks he has any right to be jealous after everything they’ve been through.

 

 

 

“I can stand, thanks.” Lincoln doesn’t rise to the bait, but takes Skye’s hand and lets her pull him up. “Who the hell is this guy?” It’s an aside to Skye, but she doesn’t miss the smirk that appears on Ward’s face as he looks at her, before reloading his gun.

 

 

 

It makes it easy to blame Ward for what comes next.

 

 

 

Skye’s not even sure how it happens, whether Jemma’s scream happens before or after the first gunshot. She knows that she feels the bullet ripping through the air the second it leaves the gun, before she even sees the figure in black go down, Ward reacting just a second too late. Maybe it’s her fault after all, that she allowed them to be distracted, a brief glimmer of satisfaction lurching through her at the jealousy she could feel radiating off Ward in vicious waves.

 

 

 

Skye reacts on instinct, just like the first time. Her hands go up and she pushes. She tries to be more careful this time, to avoid the collateral damage, but a second man appears behind the body of the first, and this time it’s an automatic, dozens of bullets arcing through the air towards Jemma before Ward drops this one with a headshot. Ward’s moving before she can stop him, shoving Lincoln behind him even as she feels the one bullet that she missed, her attention so focused on Jemma, slice through the air. Ward goes down and Skye can’t seem to remember how to breathe.

 

 

 

She’s on her knees beside him, sticky crimson red coating her hands as she searches desperately for the source of the bleeding. She finds the wound eventually, shaking hands pulling on his Kevlar, a sickening lurch of her stomach as memories assault her. Blood’s pumping out from a gash at his neck and she doesn’t know what do to. There’s no way that the screams in her ears are her voice. Terror that shatters the air, making her skin crawl and her heart pound. It’s not her screaming that Ward’s down and that they need help. Not her saying the same thing over and over again.

 

 

 

_Please no._

_Grant, please._

 

 

 

+++

 

 

 

Ward’s fairly sure that he should be dead. He felt the bullet hit. Felt the moment of certainty that this was anything other than a flesh wound. Remembers that he felt glad that he was protecting the team when it happened. He wonders why he even bothers fighting this. Why he ever thought that there was going to be a time when he didn’t feel as though he needed to make up for all the times he let them down. He tries to find the anger, the bone deep certainty that he never meant any of this to happen and that he deserves to be heard. Tries his hardest to gather up the threads of the new life he’s going to build. One where he and Kara are finally free. He just can’t seem to focus well enough to find them.

 

 

 

There’s a hand on his neck. That’s the next thing he notices. He reacts instinctively, one arm slamming the hand away, the other heading straight for the body attached to it. Centre mass. Maximum damage. But there’s suddenly nothing but empty air where a person should be. He shakes his head slightly, tries to clear the fog that seems to have settled in, making him sluggish. He can’t protect anyone like this.

 

 

 

“About time you woke up.” Skye sounds strange. A face swims into view and he remembers. It’s not Skye. Kara. “Good nap?” Kara’s tone is deceptively light. He can tell that she’s just waiting to see if he’s still dying.

 

 

 

“Fantastic, thanks. Been a while since I got a decent sleep.” Ward tries to sit up, but Kara only needs to use a single finger to push him back onto the bed. He hasn’t felt this weak since he almost bled out from the gashes he carefully sliced into his own skin. His brain skitters away from the image. A weakness he really doesn’t want to think about any more.

 

 

 

“So, since nobody will give me a straight answer round here despite what I’ve done, I’m just going to trust that you will.” Kara narrows her eyes at him. “Did you take that bullet for Skye?” There’s an accusation in her voice, but Ward’s too tired to take the bait.

 

 

 

“No.” He just leaves it there. Hanging in the air. The ghosts of all the mistakes that he made drifting around it. He doesn’t say that the bullet wasn’t headed for Skye. That it didn’t matter. That he isn’t going to let any of them down again. That he never planned any of this. That he probably should have let Kara finish the job when he had the chance.

 

 

 

“I don’t believe you.” Kara doesn’t even sound angry. Just resigned. Ward lets his eyes slide closed, not even sure how he’s going to tell her that Bakshi’s dead. That he didn’t manage to find the serum that he was sure would turn them both into something more. That he doesn’t even really care any more. The chance to start over, without the memory of how he chose the wrong side, fought the wrong battles, let himself be turned into a weapon, is something that he suddenly wants with every fibre of his being.

 

 

 

“Well, I never promised that I wouldn’t lie to you.” He somehow manages to drag a smile out from somewhere. “So I suppose that’s fair.”

 

 

 

“He saved Lincoln.” Skye’s voice dances into the air around him. He wonders how long she’s been there. If it’s just chance that she’s here when he wakes up. He can’t believe that she’d be sitting here waiting to see if he’d make it. Unless she’s planning to finish the job. He figures that she could probably do that now, if she wanted. Stop his heart with a single thought. He’s rather surprised that she hasn’t. “So I guess it _was_ kind of my fault.”

 

 

 

“Of course it was.” Kara’s irritation is evident, and Ward realizes that he owes her so much more than this. He needs to tell her to find her own place in the world. He’s the opposite of a role model. Half dead from a bullet he took for the guy that Skye was desperate to save. It always comes back to Skye and he’s just so tired of fighting it.

 

 

 

“Thanks, Ward.” Skye’s voice is so quiet that he thinks he must have imagined it. He doesn’t need to look to know that she’s gone without waiting for a response. He can feel the loss of her like a physical ache, deep in his bones.

 

 

 

“So, are you going to tell me the full story now?” Kara doesn’t need to add anything further. The implication is clear. Now that Skye’s gone.

 

 

 

“There’s nothing much to tell. Bakshi’s dead. The serum’s gone. If it ever really existed.” Ward takes a deep breath, tries to ignore the burn in his throat. “I’m sorry.”

 

 

 

Kara won’t even look at him. He feels the weight of it crashing down around him. All the promises he made that the serum would be the means to making her whole. The reassurances that Cal gave him that the formula could be something that would heal. That Skye’s mother was the key to it all. He still can’t believe that he never got to tell Skye that part, before she gunned him down and called him the enemy. He wonders if she’s had the chance to find out. He thinks about his own half-formed plan to take the unmodified serum. To become something else. A monster. It seems ridiculous now.

 

 

 

“You need to know something, Ward.” Kara sounds different, and he can’t quite work out why she’s suddenly calling him Ward. “I asked them to put me in the memory machine. Whilst you were gone.” Ward finally manages to push himself up into a sitting position, ignoring the way that his head spins as he does.

 

 

 

“Why the hell did you do that?” He knows that should be hurt. Should care that Kara waited until his back was turned and then took matters into her own hands. He doesn’t though. He just feels proud that he’s managed to help her get here. To become someone who makes her own choices. The scars on his chest pull as he twists to face her. Part of him was proud of Skye too, in that moment when she pulled the trigger. He thinks, probably, that should have told him everything he needed to know.

 

 

 

“I figured that if it all went south you’d come back and save the day. Apparently when you’re not busy betraying everyone that’s kind of your thing.” Kara finally manages to look at him, gives him the smallest of smiles. “Not everyone round here has forgotten.” She shrugs as though she hasn’t just given him back something he thought he’d lost forever. Assurance that maybe Skye wasn’t completely wrong about him after all.

 

 

 

“Well, maybe everyone will feel better about things once they put me through the TAHITI protocol.” Ward tries to smile. To pretend that this isn’t the end of everything he thought he was going to achieve. At least he won’t have to remember the way that the team look at him as though he’s about to break them all over again. That’s something. “You and me can start over.”

 

 

 

“I’m sorry, Ward, but that’s not happening.” Kara’s voice is firm.

 

 

 

“Which part?” Now he’s genuinely confused.

 

 

 

“Any of it.” As she says it, Ward finally realizes that she’s got a bag in her hands. “You believed in me when nobody else did. You helped me to get better. I’m never going to forget that. But I’ve got people that care for me. I remember them. And I want to be with them. You’ve got a life here, but it’s not mine. And I don’t want it to be.”

 

 

 

“Well I’m pretty sure that this life doesn’t really want me.” Ward tries to keep the bitterness out of his voice. Tries to reign in the disappointment. “I’ll come with you.”

 

 

 

“No, you won’t.” Kara’s smile is sad, but she’s obviously decided. “Any idiot can see that these people mean everything to you. Don’t let them take away who you are. Show them what they mean to you. Make them see what I see.”

 

 

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Kara.” He hates that he can’t even manage to make the lie convincing.

 

 

 

“Sure you do.” She wraps one arm around him, the kind of embrace that you give to people when you’re letting them go. “You should talk to Skye.”

 

 

 

“Why would I do that?” Ward can feel his pulse starting to race. He knows that he pauses a second too long before he says it. He wonders when he stopped being able to lie about her.

 

 

 

“Don’t make me put her face on.” Kara says it with a smile, but he knows that she never really believed that he was over Skye. No matter how hard he protested. He’s never going to be sure if he believed it himself. He suspects that it doesn’t matter now. He’s made his choices and Kara’s clearly made hers. “Now go. Talk to her.”

 

 

 

“Can I wait until I’m not quite so shot?” Ward knows that he sounds pathetic, but it’s worth it to hear Kara laugh.

 

 

 

“Don’t wait too long.” Her voice floats back through the door as she leaves.

 

 

 

+++

 

 

 

“Why isn’t Kara here?” Skye doesn’t bother with anything as civil as a greeting. He’s pretty certain that it’s five in the morning. That everyone should be sleeping. And yet, here Skye is, glaring at him as though he’s responsible for everything that’s wrong in the world. Some things never change.

 

 

 

“She left.” Ward closes his eyes and pretends that he’s going to go back to sleep. As though that’s even a possibility given the way that he can feel Skye on his skin. Vibrations that stir little eddies of air along his arms.

 

 

 

“Why?” Skye doesn’t even bother trying to worm it out of him. He likes this version of her. Likes that she’s just expecting him to tell her the truth. He tries to take the thought back. To pretend that he’s not praying that this is because she believes that he’s not going to lie to her. That this means nothing.

 

 

 

“Because she got her memories back and, as it turns out, I wasn’t what she wanted.”

 

 

 

“You don’t sound too bothered about it.” Skye’s positioned as far away from him as possible, her back against the wall.

 

 

 

“We got what we needed from each other.” Ward prays that’s true. That Kara really is whole again. That at least he managed this much.

 

 

 

“Coulson told me.” Skye’s voice doesn’t betray any emotion. Ward’s not sure how to feel about it. Not sure how to feel about anything any more. He wants to tell Skye that he’s still in love with her, but he’s not sure that she’ll ever believe him. He’s more than aware of how it must look to her -- every desperate attempt to remove her from harm’s way nothing more than a kidnapping in her eyes. He just wishes she could know the whole story. That she’d give him the chance to tell it.

 

 

 

“About Kara?” Somehow he’s having trouble keeping up. He remembers this about her. The way she always keeps him guessing. Always does the unexpected.

 

 

 

“About the deal.” Skye takes a step towards him. He slowly sits up, swings his legs over the side of the bed and faces her. He’s observant. Doesn’t miss the way that her eyes drift over him. The way that they pause on the scars that show just how little he means to her.

 

 

 

“Oh. That.” He’d almost forgotten about it. Lying here in the med bay just like old times.

 

 

 

“ _Really_? That’s _all_ you’re going to say about it?” Skye’s voice gets louder even though he can tell that she’s struggling to maintain some sort of control. “After all your grand promises about hope and the truth? You’re just going to let SHIELD wipe all of that away?”

 

 

 

“That was the deal.” Truth.

 

 

 

“Like you ever had any intention of keeping it.” Skye’s practically close enough to touch. Her cheeks are flushed and her hair’s wild. One eyebrow lifts in an expression of amused disbelief and it’s all he can do not to reach out and touch her. Anything’s better than having her this close and having her hate him.

 

 

 

“Things change.” He finally manages to pull his eyes away from her and stares down at the floor.

 

 

 

“Nobody deserves this, Ward. Not even you.” Skye hesitates, and he knows that she’s struggling to get through this. He can’t help the desperate hope that flares in his chest at the thought that maybe she doesn’t want him to be anyone other than who he is. That, maybe, she recognizes that virtually none of it was a lie. “You should run.”

 

 

 

He can’t help it. Can’t help the way that his hand reaches out and hovers above her arm. He can feel the heat of her less than a heartbeat away. He manages to stop himself before he brushes his fingers across bare skin. Lets his hand drop back to the bed beside him. The bitter taste of all his regrets rises up in the back of his throat and threatens to choke him.

 

 

 

“What would I do, Skye? If I ran.” Ward finally manages to look at Skye again. For the first time in a while he’s at a total loss, no idea what’s going on behind her eyes. “This is what I know. This is _all_ I know. Maybe this turns out to be my second chance.” Ward knows that he sounds resigned. That he can’t quite manage to supress the disappointment he feels that everything has come to this.

 

 

 

“Really? That’s what you want?” Skye sounds utterly incredulous. “A clean slate? A world where you don’t remember any of this?” He can see the moment that her hands clench into fists. He can feel the bed vibrating underneath him. “You just want to erase the team? Erase _me_?”

 

 

 

“Some things hurt more than being unmade.” Ward knows that he doesn’t need to explain it to Skye. That she’s seen more heartache than anyone has a right to. He knows because she told him that. When they were friends. Before he became just another face in a long line of disappointments.

 

 

 

“You once promised me you'd never lie to me again.” Skye throws it at him like a challenge. As though she expects him to tell her that it was all just a game to him.

 

 

 

“I know.” He hopes that she can hear everything he’s not saying. That none of this was ever a game to him. That it was life and death. That he knows he made the wrong choices, but he tried to make them understand. That he couldn’t get anyone to listen. Not even her, as it turned out.

 

 

 

“How do you keep that promise if you're not you any more?” She’s more careful with this one. Controlled. Giving nothing away. Ward decides that enough is enough. If he’s losing all of this then it doesn’t really matter what he does in the end.

 

 

 

“What do you want from me Skye?” He lets it all escape. All the frustration. All the hurt. All the apologies that she didn’t want to hear. Everything’s there in his voice if only she’ll just listen. “Blood? I gave you that. Words? I’ve given you all the words I know how to say.” He lifts his hands, an expression of defeat. An indication that they’ve won. She was always going to win. “This way you’ll be rid of me.” He manages to twist his features into some mockery of a smile. He’s disconcerted when she doesn’t take the bait. She just stands there, immobile, her throat working as though she has so many words that she doesn’t know how to say.

 

 

 

“Maybe I don’t want to be.” Her voice is tiny. But he hears her. She’s gone in an instant, the slam of the door echoing loud in her absence. For the first time in what feels like forever, Ward lets himself hope.

 

 

 

+++

 

 

 

Afterlife seems less like home this time around. Skye’s not sure if it’s because she’s only here under duress or if it’s because she feels as though SHIELD is where she really belongs. Even after all the changes she’s been through, the fact that she’s found her biological family after everything, she knows that her purpose must be greater than hiding out in a small town in China, waiting for the world to forget. They’re almost completely isolated, Gordon the only one allowed in or out. Skye only gets to hear snippets of news from the world outside. Enough to know that the game has changed all over again. She’s been here for months, proving herself to be the dutiful daughter, the apt pupil. She’s sick of it. She needs to be a SHIELD agent again.

 

 

 

She’s tried to argue that things are different now. That there are people out in the world who have powers that are just the same as theirs. That the world needs their protection. But it’s falling on deaf ears. It wouldn’t be so bad if it was just Jiaying telling her that she needs to let it go, but lately it feels as though absolutely nobody is on her side. Gordon, Raina and even Lincoln adding their voices to the clamour saying that they should hide here until the furore has all blown over. Skye tries not to think about the way that she informed Lincoln that one of her friends almost died for him. She tries not to think about the way that she referred to Ward as a friend. Tries not to think about the look on his face the last time she saw him, a whispered confession lighting the spark of hope in his eyes.

 

 

 

It’s not as though she’s ever getting out of here without one of the elders letting it happen. She hasn’t seen Cal in weeks and she has no allies here. She knows that she’s alone, despite the best efforts of everyone around her to make her forget. She keeps hoping that, somehow, SHIELD will find a way to reach her. It doesn’t matter that everyone she asks tells her that nobody knows where Afterlife is. That Gordon is the only person with access in or out. She has faith that somebody will come. Somebody always comes.

 

 

 

Skye’s not actually surprised when it happens. She supposes that should tell her everything she needs to know. She opens the door to a gentle knock and finds Ward staring down at her. He grins at her, as though he knew that she was waiting. Skye can’t quite stop the answering smile that lights up her face. She’s had time to think, here in the mountains, about the lengths that people will go to in order to save the people that they love. She thinks that she understands Ward now. Understands that sometimes you’ll do anything if it means just one more day with a person you don’t know how to live without.

 

 

 

“I was wondering when you’d show up.” Skye doesn’t even bother to fight it now, the relief she feels at seeing Ward standing in front of her.

 

 

 

“Well, this place is actually kind of tough to find.” Ward gives her a self-deprecating shrug and Skye makes a mental note to find out just how the hell he _did_ find her. The last time she spoke to Coulson he’d made it pretty clear that if she left they weren’t going to be able to get her back.

 

 

 

“You by yourself?” Skye’s peering out into the dark as though she’d have any hope of seeing the others even if they were there.

 

 

 

“I’m a Specialist, Skye. Go in alone, get the job done.” Ward delivers his statement in matter of fact tones and Skye’s stomach lurches unpleasantly. It’s exactly what’s written in his file. Words that she’s heard coming out of his mouth. Before.

 

 

 

“You let them do it? After everything?” Skye’s not sure if she’s going to scream or cry. She knows that she has to get her powers under control before she alerts the whole campus to the fact that there’s something seriously wrong. She can feel the room starting to shake even as she tries desperately to stop it.

 

 

 

“Woah, Skye, calm down. It’s okay.” Ward’s hands are on her shoulders before she realizes what he’s doing. It doesn’t even occur to her to stop him. “I’m joking.” He removes his hands abruptly, as though he’s suddenly noticed that they’re on her bare skin. “I’m me.”

 

 

 

“What the hell, Ward.” Skye grits it out between clenched teeth. She’s not sure if she’s more annoyed at him for making the joke or herself for giving him a demonstration of exactly how she feels.

 

 

 

“Honestly, it was back-up in case you tried to kill me.” He doesn’t sound like he’s joking.

 

 

 

“Are you for real?” Skye considers punching him. But then realizes that there’s a possibility that it’ll send the wrong message. She really _is_ glad to see him.

 

 

 

“Well you left in kind of a hurry the last time I saw you and I didn’t really get a chance to tell you I was sorry.” Ward’s smile is hesitant, as though he’s not entirely sure how she’s going to react.

 

 

 

“What for?” Skye has no intention of letting him get away with vague platitudes and hollow words. She needs to know if he understands. His presence on her doorstep should be enough to tell her everything that she needs to know, but there’s a part of Skye that still wants him to say it.

 

 

 

“All of it.” His smile vanishes and he just looks at her. The same way as he did when she saw him fighting with Coulson. As though there’s nowhere else he’d rather be. The depth of emotion in his eyes almost more than Skye really knows how to deal with. She feels as though he’s stripping her bare, breaking down every single defence that she ever managed to build against him. And it scares her, that she wants to let him.

 

 

 

“For being in love with me?” Skye’s not sure where it comes from. Ward gives her a half-smile, a rueful shake of the head as he breathes out a disbelieving huff of air. “Remember your promise?” Skye crosses her arms and raises her eyebrows. She already knows the answer, but she wants him to say it. She shouldn’t care. She spent months training herself not to, pushing the pain down as far as she could and locking it away. She’s learned, now, that fighting something like this only makes you break.

 

 

 

“Except that.” All trace of Ward’s earlier smile vanishes, and Skye can see the truth of his words everywhere. In his eyes, written on his skin, and dancing in the waves of energy that drift in the air towards her. He closes his eyes, and she can see him drag in a shaky breath, watches as he pulls the vibrations carefully back towards his skin, his body telling her more than his words ever could.

 

 

 

“This whole truth thing is killing you, isn’t it?” Skye grins up at him, satisfied that she’s got the only answer that she really ever needed. She shouldn’t want this. It’s a terrible idea to let him in, after everything. But he’s here, standing in the place that was unreachable, offering to take her home. Everything else seems insignificant now.

 

 

 

“Figuratively speaking, yes.” Ward’s answer comes out alongside the cockiest grin Skye’s ever seen. As though she’s inadvertently let slip that she forgives him. She’s sure that she didn’t say anything of the sort.

 

 

 

“Wow.” Skye’s seen hints of this person before. In unguarded moments where he didn’t have anyone else to perform for. She’s not sure how she ever doubted that the two of them were real. “Is there a truth serum Ward?”

 

 

 

“Skye, come on. We need to go.” He’s actually rolling his eyes at her. Skye doesn’t know what’s come over her. She feels as though she’s drunk. Light-headed and dizzy and the thought of finally being back where she belongs.

 

 

 

“Nope. Not until you tell me if there’s a truth serum.” Skye takes a step backwards into the room, crosses her arms and props her hip against the table.

 

 

 

“Fine.” Ward pinches the bridge of his nose between a finger and thumb. It’s a gesture so familiar that Skye finds herself trying to swallow past a burning lump at the back of her throat. Somehow she manages it, breathing normally again by the time he looks up. “Yes. There’s a truth serum.” Ward actually has the good grace to look embarrassed.

 

 

 

“I _knew_ it.” Skye’s tone is triumphant, and Ward’s casting an anxious look at the door, indicating with one hand that she needs to keep her voice down. She takes three steps forwards. Waits until Ward looks as though he’s about to take a step back before fisting her hand in the front of his shirt and pulling herself up so her mouth is next to his ear. She grins as she feels him shiver, sees the goosebumps springing up along his neck as her breath tickles his skin. “Did you miss me?” She whispers it against his skin, breathing in warmth and spice and something else that’s entirely _Ward_. She hears his breath catch as she drops back down onto her heels.

 

 

 

“You know I did.” His voice is rough, lower than usual, ripe with promise. Skye knows that they’re playing with fire. That they should leave now, before she gets him caught. She can’t help herself.

 

 

 

“Show me.” No sooner are the words out of her mouth than Ward’s leaning over her, his hands firm at her hips, pulling her roughly against him. His lips are soft, but the way that he kisses her is bruising in its intensity, breath hot and tongue firm as he licks up into her mouth. Nothing is different. She can feel stardust in her veins, fire blazing across every inch of her skin, as her body shows her that none of what they had before was a lie. There’s a mess of white noise blasting in her skull, and all she can sense is him. Every point of contact between them like a beacon, calling her name, guiding her home. He finally pulls away, gasping her name into the air between them, giving her a smile that tells her more than words ever could.

 

 

 

“You coming home?” Ward’s voice cracks on the last word, and she can see the hope in his eyes. Feel it in her bones as he holds one hand out to her and offers her a shaky smile. Skye nods, places her hand in his and follows him.

 

 

 

She never looks back.

 

 


End file.
